By Graham Harris
We have given a lot of thought, paid an indecent amount of money
and taken much action over the years to change the way we are. To
become ï¿½betterï¿½ human beings. To make the most of this life we have.
To get rid of the behaviours that are counterproductive. The behaviors
that cause harm to us and others. We have attended numerous courses,
workshops and seminars around the world. Only to find that the bottom
line is that no one can do it except us. No one can change the way
you are except you.
Adding a technique or two, or focusing on a behavior that causes
upset does not work. In order to ensure you are constantly happy,
healthy and more at peace with the world you need to change the
way you think about yourself. Have you ever thought about the way
you describe yourself? When you are asked who are you? What do you
reply? Do you start with your occupation or your role? If you did
you replied in the way you have been trained by society. But you
answered the wrong question. You answered the question What are
you? Or What do you do?
So when asked: Who are you? What is the reply? One answer would
be, ï¿½ I am a human beingï¿½. OK . Now turn it on its head. What about:
A being that happens to be human? How does that fit? Does that describe
who you are? But, what does that mean? What does it mean to be a
being that happens to be human? Arenï¿½t you just playing on words?
No. To us it is important. It changes the way you view yourself.
For us the phrase; ï¿½ a being that happens to be humanï¿½ means someone
who is unfinished, uncompleted. Someone who is on a journey. Someone
who is becoming something. Someone who has a natural tendency to
grow. Someone who is free to choose whatever path they want. Someone
who, left alone, naturally chooses positive and constructive paths.
Someone who has a natural tendency to grow, to develop, to achieve
their natural potential.
We know, it sounds scary, but just think about this for a moment.
Wherever you go for a bit of peace and quiet go there and think
for a moment. I am a being. Someone who naturally chooses what is
best for me. Someone who is always becoming. Someone who has an
inherent talent to take care of themselves. Someone who is naturally
motivated to grow, to develop and to achieve their natural potential.
This means: not only are you are unique but you have a natural ability
to move towards fulfilling your potential.
Take a minute and look back over your life. Note down all the
major events good and bad. Now review them. When you look back were
they turning moments in your life? Can you see a benefit? Can you
see how you are choosing what is best for you even though it didnï¿½t
feel like it at the time? Every child has an inner timetable for
growthï¿½a pattern unique to him. . . . Growth is not steady, forward,
upward progression. It is instead a switchback trail; three steps
forward, two back, one around the bushes, and a few simply standing,
before another forward leap Dorothy Corkville Briggs Your Childï¿½s
We each have our own story. Our own life with its ups and downs,
with its variety of experiences and problems. But eventually when
we look back we can see the benefits.. The only thing that slows
down your growth and makes it more difficult to achieve your natural
potential is You. The way you see yourself. If you: see yourself
as an attachment to another person allow yourself to be in fear
of or in awe of another person, let others rule your life, depend
on others, blame others for your feelings and behaviors, hide the
real you through forced or affected humor, spend time building a
faï¿½ade to hide behind, display defensive behavior to defend yourself
againstï¿½ï¿½. Then you have lost your uniqueness .
Your role is now to serve the other person. You are a slave to
their dictates. The minute you are drawn to do something that is
driven by anotherï¿½s agenda you are no longer choosing what is naturally
best for you. You are choosing what they want you to do. You are
accepting that they are the ï¿½expertï¿½ in your life. Another person
knows what is best for you. The bottom line is that you are the
only person who really knows you. You are the only one who has had
all the experiences that make up you. Others have witnessed and
experienced parts of you but you are the only one who has seen,
heard and lived the lot. You are the only one with the built in
self motivation to grow, to develop to achieve your natural potential.
These are our few thoughts to change your inner state. You are
unique, and if that is not fulfilled, Then something has been lost.